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Christmas Cracker Jokes

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Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  littlewid on Mon Dec 17, 2012 5:54 am

There are tons of terrible Christmas Cracker Jokes that we must remember, so I thought we could have a go at posting some to give us all a :Ha:

I heard this one on the radio the other day:-

"What do you get if you cross Snow with a Lion :?: :?: :?:



Frostbite

I did say they were cracker Jokes
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  Laikipia on Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:43 am

:What: That's so corny !!!

Wish I'd thought of that Littlewid. We pulled 4 whilst watching Strictly on Saturday and I can't remember even one as they were so bad!

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  littlewid on Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:24 am

Heres another one for you

Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea?
One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint.
All the sailors ended up being marooned.


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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  Laikipia on Fri Dec 21, 2012 10:04 am

actually that's a good one. Thanks Littlewid.

Lai lol!
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  Laikipia on Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:29 am

Q. What do elves learn in school?

A. The Elf-abet What a Face

Q. Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners most?

A. "Rude"olph Rolling Eyes

Oh dear I never said they would be ROFL

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  littlewid on Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:50 pm

but they are good christmas cracker jokes Lai

What did the Fish say when he swam into a wall?


Dam!

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  Laikipia on Sun Dec 23, 2012 3:54 pm

ROFL That did make me laugh. Your cracker jokes are funny Littlewid Laughing

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  whitestarling on Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:32 pm

affraid There worse than mine LW. but they are . Love that last one
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  gregrowlerson on Sun Dec 23, 2012 8:07 pm

Oh me oh my No Yet stuff like Elfabet still makes me Laughing

And your fish one is actually really good LW ROFL

I don't think we have ever seen a true depiction of the jolly present provider; for clearly this is a character of contradiction. Half human, half animal.

Santa Waving Santa Claws leopard in Tree

Well that is not really a joke, but I couldn't come up with anything else!
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  gregrowlerson on Sun Dec 23, 2012 8:10 pm

Who got caught for taking performance enhancing drugs at the animal olympics?

Cheetah

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  whitestarling on Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:49 pm


WS

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  gregrowlerson on Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:20 pm

"Oh come on! Onehundred kilometres an hour! They can't be clean!"

cheers dad Very Happy
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  Laikipia on Mon Dec 24, 2012 1:32 pm

ROFL You the man GR - love it both of them.

Cheetah cheers Laughing

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  littlewid on Mon Dec 24, 2012 9:59 pm

Good ones GR I really liked the Olympic one

Heres another one

Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?


Because he couldn't concentrate! Very Happy

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  whitestarling on Mon Dec 24, 2012 10:15 pm

lol! lol! lol! LW
Some really good advice on how to drink Red Wine properly.

Open the Bottle well in advance of when you want to drink it
to let it breath.
If it does'nt breath
Give it some mouth to mouth

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  Laikipia on Tue Dec 25, 2012 7:29 am

Littlewid and WS both good start to the day Thanks

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  gregrowlerson on Tue Dec 25, 2012 12:39 pm

ROFL LW, WS ROFL

I can imagine people looking at WS with crazed looks on their faces and he says without embarrassment, "Oh don't worry guys, I know CPR."
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  whitestarling on Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:38 pm

Dear Santa
Can I please have a Fat Bank Balance
and a slim Wife

Thank you Santa
PS Could you please make sure that unlike last year you get it the right way round Mad

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  Laikipia on Wed Dec 26, 2012 8:17 am

ROFL WS

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  gregrowlerson on Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:11 pm

ROFL indeedy!

But definitely a good idea to keep your 'talent' on the side with that kind of humour Wink
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  Laikipia on Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:13 pm

We heard some good ones on QI on the telly last night, sadly the drunken means I can't remember them Will be pulling some crackers later so will share them with you, I know you can't wait!!!

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  littlewid on Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:35 pm

:Ha: ROFL :Ha: Those were two crackers WS, I need to remember those Very Happy

Looking forward to seeing what you remember from your crackers today Lai, cracker jokes are so corny but they do make you laugh

I can only remember one from yesterday

Whats Green and jumps around in the garden?


A Spring Onion!

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  whitestarling on Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:45 pm

Ooooo scraping the barrel there LW
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  littlewid on Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:48 pm

Don't blame me No No blame the cracker

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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Post  whitestarling on Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:12 pm

lol! ROFL Thats a cracker LW
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