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From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

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From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

Post  littlewid on Fri Feb 11, 2011 8:38 pm

This was sent to me by a friend and I thought it was something you would all enjoy as well.
From a Dogs diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
11:30 am - Chased cat! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the garden! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

From a cats diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

littlewid-x-

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Re: From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

Post  Doogs on Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:52 pm

the happy Scottie and the cunning - that was brilliant LW and is that what they really think scratch scratch :)


Last edited by Doogs on Mon Feb 14, 2011 12:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

Post  Safari Maiden on Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:44 pm

That is hilarious .

Just going to wake up TT to read it to him, so if I do not return you will know he has thrown my laptop out the window! lol!

SM
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Re: From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

Post  Safari Maiden on Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:48 pm

You will be pleased to know I left him laughing, so lappy is safe!

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Re: From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

Post  whitestarling on Sat Feb 12, 2011 7:01 am

Thats Brilliant LW lol! lol! Mrs S , and I are laughing our heads off hear. Thanks LW what a great way to start the day
WS
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Re: From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

Post  Laikipia on Sat Feb 12, 2011 7:49 am

That was a great find Littlewid - absolutely brilliant.

Thanks.

Lai
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Re: From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

Post  Anne-Marie1981 on Fri Feb 18, 2011 10:10 am

Hahaha!! Thats brilliant. I'm going to have to copy it on to an email and send it round to a few people Very Happy
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Re: From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

Post  littlewid on Sun Feb 20, 2011 8:21 am

Glad you all liked it Very Happy I wonder if that is what they all think too Doogs I hope not because all my cats are indoor cats and they do seem really happy but you do wish you could understand what your pets are thinking sometimes and all the little looks they give you......i'm always saying to them "whats up"....and expecting a reply back Embarassed lol!

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Re: From the Diaries of a Dog and a Cat

Post  Doogs on Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:32 pm

No need for the Embarassed LW - I don't think any of us on here haven't done that before, I certainly have. Ali would sit and look at you when you were talking to her and she would tilt her head to one side as though she understood every word, it was very cute I love you but also really funny Laughing bless her.

It when they are under the weather you just wish they could tell you what was wrong so you can make it right for them I love you I love you I love you
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