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Jokers Page

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Re: Jokers Page

Post  tigerburnie on Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:51 pm

MY NEW PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR


Love this new Doctor!


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets


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Re: Jokers Page

Post  Laikipia on Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:16 pm

TB - good one just in time for Christmas

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Re: Jokers Page

Post  littlewid on Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:28 pm

lol! lol! lol! Love that Doctor too TB and I am sure WS will as well with his philosophy on Beer

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Re: Jokers Page

Post  tigerburnie on Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:45 pm

There's been a major explosion at the local cheese factory -








the Police are sifting through de brie


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Re: Jokers Page

Post  littlewid on Wed Dec 07, 2011 10:28 pm

Thats a cracker TB your on form today

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Re: Jokers Page

Post  Laikipia on Thu Dec 08, 2011 8:10 am

TB

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Re: Jokers Page

Post  whitestarling on Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:06 am

Love the Doctor one,as LW said. Thats my philosophy as well.
Xmas jokes
I made myself a Snowman
As perfect as can be
I thought I'd keep it as a Pet
So I let it sleep with me.
I made it some pyjamas
and a pillow for its head.
Last night the Snowman vanished
and I found he'd wet the bed.

My Kids keep taking Mick out of my alzheimers
Just wait till the cheeky little sods wake up on
Xmas morning, and find no Eggs under the tree

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Re: Jokers Page

Post  littlewid on Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:36 pm

:Ha: ROFL lol! those had me giggling WS, love them, especially the snowman one

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Re: Jokers Page

Post  Laikipia on Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:51 pm

WS

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Re: Jokers Page

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