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Christmas Cracker Jokes
littlewid Mon Dec 17, 2012 5:54 am
There are tons of terrible Christmas Cracker Jokes that we must remember, so I thought we could have a go at posting some to give us all a :Ha:
I heard this one on the radio the other day:-
"What do you get if you cross Snow with a Lion :?: :?: :?:
Frostbite
I did say they were cracker Jokes
littlewid-x-
I heard this one on the radio the other day:-
"What do you get if you cross Snow with a Lion :?: :?: :?:
Frostbite
I did say they were cracker Jokes
littlewid-x-
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
Laikipia Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:43 am
:What: That's so corny !!!
Wish I'd thought of that Littlewid. We pulled 4 whilst watching Strictly on Saturday and I can't remember even one as they were so bad!
Lai
Wish I'd thought of that Littlewid. We pulled 4 whilst watching Strictly on Saturday and I can't remember even one as they were so bad!
Lai
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
littlewid Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:24 am
Heres another one for you
Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea?
One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint.
All the sailors ended up being marooned.
littlewid-x-
Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea?
One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint.
All the sailors ended up being marooned.
littlewid-x-
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
Laikipia Fri Dec 21, 2012 10:04 am
actually that's a good one. Thanks Littlewid.Lai
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
Laikipia Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:29 am
Q. What do elves learn in school?
A. The Elf-abet
Q. Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners most?
A. "Rude"olph
Oh dear I never said they would be
Lai
A. The Elf-abet
Q. Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners most?
A. "Rude"olph
Oh dear I never said they would be
Lai
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
littlewid Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:50 pm
but they are good christmas cracker jokes Lai 
What did the Fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam!
littlewid-x-
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
Laikipia Sun Dec 23, 2012 3:54 pm
That did make me laugh. Your cracker jokes are funny Littlewid 
Lai
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
whitestarling Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:32 pm
There worse than mine LW. but they are . Love that last oneWS
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
gregrowlerson Sun Dec 23, 2012 8:07 pm
Oh me oh my 
Yet stuff like Elfabet still makes me
And your fish one is actually really good LW
I don't think we have ever seen a true depiction of the jolly present provider; for clearly this is a character of contradiction. Half human, half animal.
Santa Claws 
Well that is not really a joke, but I couldn't come up with anything else!
Yet stuff like Elfabet still makes me And your fish one is actually really good LW
I don't think we have ever seen a true depiction of the jolly present provider; for clearly this is a character of contradiction. Half human, half animal.
Santa Claws Well that is not really a joke, but I couldn't come up with anything else!
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
gregrowlerson Sun Dec 23, 2012 8:10 pm
Who got caught for taking performance enhancing drugs at the animal olympics?
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
gregrowlerson Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:20 pm
"Oh come on! Onehundred kilometres an hour! They can't be clean!"
dad 
dad
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GR - love it both of them.
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
littlewid Mon Dec 24, 2012 9:59 pm
Good ones GR I really liked the Olympic one 
Heres another one
Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate!
littlewid-x-
I really liked the Olympic one Heres another one
Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate!
littlewid-x-
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
whitestarling Mon Dec 24, 2012 10:15 pm
LWSome really good advice on how to drink Red Wine properly.
Open the Bottle well in advance of when you want to drink it
to let it breath.
If it does'nt breath
Give it some mouth to mouth
WS
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
Laikipia Tue Dec 25, 2012 7:29 am
Littlewid and WS both good start to the day 
Lai
good start to the day Lai
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
gregrowlerson Tue Dec 25, 2012 12:39 pm
LW, WS I can imagine people looking at WS with crazed looks on their faces and he says without embarrassment, "Oh don't worry guys, I know CPR."
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
whitestarling Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:38 pm
Dear Santa
Can I please have a Fat Bank Balance
and a slim Wife
Thank you Santa
PS Could you please make sure that unlike last year you get it the right way round
Can I please have a Fat Bank Balance
and a slim Wife
Thank you Santa
PS Could you please make sure that unlike last year you get it the right way round
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
gregrowlerson Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:11 pm
indeedy!But definitely a good idea to keep your 'talent' on the side with that kind of humour
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
Laikipia Wed Dec 26, 2012 12:13 pm
We heard some good ones on QI on the telly last night, sadly the 
means I can't remember them Will be pulling some crackers later so will share them with you, I know you can't wait!!!
Lai
means I can't remember them Will be pulling some crackers later so will share them with you, I know you can't wait!!!Lai
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
littlewid Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:35 pm
:Ha: :Ha: Those were two crackers WS, I need to remember those
Looking forward to seeing what you remember from your crackers today Lai, cracker jokes are so corny but they do make you laugh
I can only remember one from yesterday
Whats Green and jumps around in the garden?
A Spring Onion!
littlewid-x-
:Ha: Those were two crackers WS, I need to remember those Looking forward to seeing what you remember from your crackers today Lai, cracker jokes are so corny but they do make you laugh
I can only remember one from yesterday
Whats Green and jumps around in the garden?
A Spring Onion!
littlewid-x-
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
whitestarling Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:45 pm
Ooooo scraping the barrel there LW
WS
WS
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Re: Christmas Cracker Jokes
littlewid Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:48 pm
Don't blame me blame the cracker
littlewid-x-
blame the cracker littlewid-x-
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