Re: Forum Fiction - Merry Xmas!

[Laikipia]

GR - that is really brilliant news. and let us know.

Lai
aka Mrs Kipia

[Laikipia]

Did you send it P G R Onesie Man? I'm itching to hear any news and what is going on in Summers world .........

Mrs Kipia et al
E

ooooooh forgot S

[gregrowlerson]

Lai for asking for an update. This book means virtually everything to me.

I sent it off eight days ago. I have many all the time that I will get a positive response. Especially the past couple of days I've done regular checks of my email for a possible message, so I am a little on tenterhooks (or is that tender? I feel tender ). It's not like I can't sleep at night or anything - in many ways I am calm because it's completed and I am soooo proud of it - but it's very important to me. The two publishers/editors are both sisters with the surname Lodge, so I am thinking that I will have really made it if I win their acceptance; kind of a strange metaphor for 'the lodge' being where our Prime Minister lives

I will most definitely send you all the book at some stage Lai; I am just hesitant to publish more on the forum as contractually (and morally?) I am not meant to. I have even thought of trying to delete the chapters on here (what do you think about that?). But once I get a finalised version done up after discussions with the publisher (or even if I fail to win them over) I will send to you. Will just need an email address I guess.

I have doubts sometimes about the second book, but then at other times I think that I can make it great too (I may combine ideas for book 3 into it anyhoo). I have more past inspiration to tap into (you will soon learn who my inspiration for the first book was she is what made it wonderful), but will just have to find the correct forums and characters to voice that through. I think that it would only take a very small push from the publisher and I will be into full swing on the second book, but for now it is just nice to take a brief time-out.

But as another teaser, here are some smileys which relate to TSP:

- it's a love story!
- it's funny!
- it's profound!
- it's a cold climate!
- there are theatregoers who applaud ROARcausly!
- oh yes indeedy

And there are references!

So okay then; I just can't help myself with giving away more about the book!

[Laikipia]

and it all sounds very positive. I understand about not putting anymore up on here so from now on. If you want to delete or need to I think either Littlewid or WS can do that for you as Admins. I think I can only delete one previous post not a whole thread.

I will ask no more just now but lots of and love all the smileys involved

Mrs Kipia

[gregrowlerson]

Well, I would never want you to go Mrs Kipia!

I will press pause on the deleting idea. LW and WS might suddenly think, "What a great idea; while we're at it why don't we delete this post too, and this one and that one and so forth."



"love all the smileys involved" - the publisher feels the same

Hopefully later this week I will be yaying all over this thread!

[Laikipia]

Be sure to keep us posted, if not with chapters then with news

Mrs Kipia
sometimes but mostly

[gregrowlerson]

A surprising kick in the guts this afternoon - being a Saturday - with TSP being rejected. I will need to take some time to mull things over; let things fully digest, before making my next step.

Three editors went over it and all rejected it, in its current format. What I really appreciate is the amount of work they have done on it, with their analysis. They have given me a very thorough report indeedy! So after initially feeling totally crestfallen, I don't feel quite as bad just now, even with lost of negativity about the book. Criticism can be constructive, as we all know.

Hmmm, they wish to remove a lot of the "as we all knows", suggest that smirk be changed to grin and that heart-rending is not an apt word. Yes, if you look these up in the English dictionary they are not perfectly apt (heart-rending is like heartache, or a love pain type of thingy), but a major aspect of TSP is that it has its own language. One that is not totally prim and proper and as such, many words develop new kind of meanings anyhoo. A lot of the book is also very personal. Particular words and passages represent stuff that is close to me. Removal of a lot of that can mean that the book loses a lot of its heart. It could all be very heart-rending for the book

I guess that I am not really letting this digest am I? But I need someone to speak to about it.

They are right about there being too much sexual innuendo in the book, when that books target audience is 11-14. I never gave those ages as the target audience though, the publisher did. But perhaps I need to explain better Summers emotional/hormonal transformation from 12-20 better as well as the physical metamorphisis. Or I need to look at having her begin as a sixteen year old or something, and perhaps have no age change. Or I remove the sexual aspects and that is certainly possible.

I can see where they are coming from though with everything they are saying. I would like the opportunity for a sit down chat with them, but I don't know if I can have this, or if asking for such will make them not want to have anything to do with me again. I am not sure just yet of how to respond to them with my next email.

A rather funny thingy that happened - rather smirk-inducing, or grin-inducing - is their suggestion to remove my Muslim reference, and to have the Pakistan woman be an eccentric English woman or something. Do I hear Mrs Kipia?!

Anyhoo, I think that another walkies is in order. I was going to post a heap of yay's on here following the books acceptance, but though rejected, let's still take the positives out of it. There is too much good about Pup Seal Bay to just let it die.

GR

[gregrowlerson]

Weggy and Breezyweezy eventually found their way to the homely looking enclosure. Like Universitycorn's place it was a kinda hut. It was a little dark in the day by now, but in no way did this area feel in the least bit scary. Anyhoo, a couple of knocks at the door from Breezyweezy and they were inside, greeted by hippo hugs aplenty.

After the usual pleasantries it was time to discuss the layout of Mrs Kipia's unique place. With the day now long there was a need for significant artificial light. This the woman had provided: in the form of candles.

"There is such a lovely aroma about your cottage," praised Weggy, "but what gives with all the candlelight? Is this simply a special way of welcoming us?"

"Hardly," grinned Mrs Kipia. "I don't have electricity. Hence the candles."

"Don't use electricity," Weggy thought to himself. "What a load of hot air!" Now he turned to his furrtastic squirrell pal and said, "Thanks for not informing me of this fact Breezyweezy and making it such a pleasant surprise." Yes, there was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Well I am full of surprises, as we all know," grinned Breezyweezy emphatically.

"So how do you cook Mrs Kipia?" inquired Weggy. "I mean on your stove."

"I light a match and kapow! Abracadabra!" Breezyweezy was right indeedy. She was fabulously childish!

"I don't know about the use of all these matches," said Weggy with a shake of the head.

"Oh never mind him Mrs Kipia," interrupted BW. "He is just worried about burning his so-called beautiful hands."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

Mrs Kipia let out a delightful chuckle. "Oh it's hardly worth worrying about. Much more profound thingys for us parrots to ponder over."

"Parrots?"

"Yes, us parrots are the colourful creatures of the world. We see the world as full of colour, not darkness. Our positive thinking is the light that leads the way for others."

"And that is why you are able to live in a constant state of Earth Hour," joked Weggy good naturedly.

"Mrs Kipia doesn't require electricity," added Breezyweezy, "because she has eccentricity!"

"Exactly," the wise woman smiled.

There were grins galore. And now the male parrot had time to ponder more profoundly about the living room. Everywhere he looked there were walls of elephants. I mean elephants on the walls. So he asked about this cookie feature.

"Elephants are a reflection on my outstanding memory," informed Mrs Kipia.

"But you're blonde," Weggy replied.

"Very very very very thin ice," advised Breezyweezy grin-inducingly.

Weggy sensibly tried changing the subject. "How did your name come about? From a husband I suppose?"

"Oh for Pete's sakes," Mrs Kipia shot back. "Why does everyone assume that us women are highly influenced by mere men! We can tell you to ostrich it out of here whenever you like," she joked joyously. "No, my name is all to do with the lay of the land."

"The lay?"

"Yes the lay."

Some food for thought! And now it's time

[Laikipia]

I'm so sorry to hear that GR - I need to pop out now but will read your last two posts again properly later today.

Don't be disheartened. Think about JK Rowling and how long it took her to succeed.

Love the next chapter

Mrs Kipia et al

[gregrowlerson]

That's not the next chapter But some writing to place somewhere in my TSP world

There are going to be some possible major overhauls with the book and/or books. To fix the sexual innuendo stuff I am thinking of not having Summer have a magical age transformation at all. She will still magically travel to Iceland - oh, you don't even know that that is the country she has been sent to! (just give me your email address if you would like the original book and I shall send it; I am very proud of it, plus it might make it easier for you to know just whatever the hell it is I am talking about ) - and into the future, but she can remain the same age. I am thinking that she is fourteen now, no twelve as per the book's current beginning. This will explain a possible crush on Weggy a little easier whilst still allowing to discuss these issues around puberty and peer pressure. Although in this case, is it realistic for Summer to be an assistant teacher to Weggy? Hmmmm....well it is in the future, so perhaps I can explain some changes in the school systems or something.

Book 2 was going to be based 4-5 years further into the future anyhoo, and this would suit the situation with Summer now 19 or so. The conclusion to Book 1 (which is the Ice-Cream & Grueland chapters) has to be the conclusion to a book. But perhaps this can be the finish to the second book? That was always going to be a happy ending, but not as happy an ending as book 1, but now I can finish book 1 at an earlier point (and 75,000 words was already a lot I feel), insert book 2 ideas in and have the happier conclusion to 'the series'. The publisher says that they are interested in me turning it into two books if I am willing to make their other changes and so forth, so I could do this. Still, there are many changes to be made.

If the Muslim woman character is thrown out - she is the first human friend of Breezyweezy - and replaced by Mrs Kipia, then one chapter will need major adjustments. And do you like to where crazy hats Lai? Hats that say hi?

It will be funny when you read it.

How Summer and Weggy meet needs a complete overhaul, but I am happy about this. It feels right. There was going to be a later section where Breezyweezy told of their meeting from her perspective, but when it came time to put it into TSP it didn't feel right. That is because their meeting place of a bar is not right. So I am thinking a record store. Because someone will have to be totally cookie to be looking at vinyl records!

I am not sure if the publisher will be more willing to accept sexual jokes more if they are told by a girl who begins the book at fourteen rather than eleven/twelve? But I would think that a fourteen year old could tell and understand many sex jokes at that age, and remember that my Summer is very advanced!

They did not like the tennis jokes and flirtations with Sam the sparrow and so forth.

But I can see that the chapter Snail On Acid possibly doesn't work, as Summer doesn't really know anything about "nailing everything" so that may very well be scrapped.

They wish to change a lot of the language of the book. I spoke to my mum before about this - she loves the book, but may be biased - and she was saying somewhat rightly that I have to write my book for the readers, and not for an individual. And I do get this. So perhaps I can start to get some liking for grin-inducing. But just some

Grin and bare it

But they don't like cookie much either No, not really particularly angry; I am heapsy which is great!

What a ramble!

P

P.S. On my walk before there was an advertisement at a bus stop which read something like, greatness doesn't come easily. Arrogantly I thought, yeah applies to me!

[Laikipia]

Going back to the first post I read today re the rejection, from what I read apart from maybe the sexual innuendo the changes they are suggesting are to my mind fairly minor. I could be wrong here as it depends on how strongly you feel about some of the words they want changing.

I suppose they know what they are talking about and are guiding you with positive suggestions and constructive advice. Summers age at 14 is probably a good idea and to make it into 2 books is ideal and gives plenty of scope. Mrs Kipia wearing a hi hat is

I realise now that wasn't another chapter as it didnt have a chapter number or heading - so I am going for another read just now .............. this morning was a rush big time!

Lai

[Laikipia]

G R - that was very clever and most

But now I have to tell you that LAI is pronounced like 'lie' so

"No, my name is all to do with the lay of the land."

i've just ruined that ............


Lai aka a lot of other things

[gregrowlerson]

Not ruined at all Mrs Kipia

Nevertheless, I was laughing and thinking of myself as a bit of a dingbat for always thinking of you as 'Lay'. Oh me oh my

That's GR for ya

"Oh for Pete's sakes," Mrs Kipia shot back. "Why does everyone assume that us women are highly influenced by mere men! We can tell you to ostrich it out of here whenever you like," she joked joyously. "No, my name is all to do with the lie of the land."

"The lie? Shouldn't that be lay?" Weggy questioned.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's lie," added Breezyweezy.

"Yes, most definitely the lie," confirmed the wise woman.

Weggy checked his stomach feeling, still felt that lay sounded correct, but then acknowledged that he sure wasn't right all the time. Lie of the land it was. Oh yes indeedy.

Imagine if my reply to the publishers included, "I suppose you know what you are talking about." That would be wonderfully sarcastic!

But I know you didn't mean it like that, and neither do I. So I am listening to them, and then we shall see what happens from there.

[Laikipia]

GR - quick turn about there with lay and lie and very

Keep and with the changes.

Lai
aka a lot more besides

[gregrowlerson]

Leo and Bella just burst into the kitchen to find out what all the commotion was about. I'd just let out an enormous yaaaay!

It was a good moment. It's a good thingy that the book was rejected, as I am already discovering many updates/alterations. Many ideas still come to me. There is still tremendous passion for this project. If they had accepted this book, then maybe in six months once published they would ask me to try to write a second book, but after six months off perhaps I would be out of 'TSP mode', so it is best that this has happened, and I can write the second book whilst making amendments to book 1 (most of the publishers recommendations, but also some of my own).

Re-reading it, I still amaze myself at how good it is (as arrogant as that sounds). The world has to see it! And I'm like, "Oh yes, I did put a reference to that in. Yay!" And so forth.

Soooo grin-inducing

I sort of have a planning order to do stuff, but haven't got through as much as I thought this long weekend (and I have done so much ). But there has still been good progress, absolutely! But I still haven't even completed a timeline/chapter layout yet for the whole thingy!

I can see more and more where the publisher is coming from. Yes, there was too much sexual innuendo. But the love stuff has to stay, and that is where we might bang heads I can water it down...a little

Looking forward to returning to normal work routine tomorrow. Then it's only four days til another weekend, and then The Script!

[Laikipia]

That's great news and very positive GR . I am still to read the whole script, a slight error on my part with my tablet not being charged and so my train journey was spent reading a I had with me. But I will be reading as I am now charged up!

Although it's been a 4 day break with the bank hols we've been busy doing all sorts so no time to relax or

Mrs Kipia

[gregrowlerson]

It is okay you not having read more of it yet Lai. You don't have to read any of it actually; I feel like I'm force feeding you a little really, but I'm very proud of it and want to have people to talk to about it for sure!

The publisher did get back to me again after I responded to their rejection and they were quite good with their encouragement. I really like them and want to work with them; it's just the difficulties with fitting solely in with this target young audience when I also like to talk about a lot of bigger and adult issues (not just be childish). But hopefully with the use of metaphor we can reach some agreements and compromises and I can include stuff that I want which can still fit within their guidelines.

During the past week (though not the past two or three nights) I've done a lot of heavy brainstorming for the two books and really getting some nice ideas together. I have gone through the publishers entire 7 page report and written my own thoughts about each aspect, and the ways with which I can make good amendments plus new storylines and thingys that can come into play to make everything work. At the moment I just have piles of ideas and notes, and am not even up to the point of trying to organise it, and to write proper chapters. I am still reading over writing and so forth to get ideas and work stuff out. After which I will attempt to write up a chapter timeline for book 2 (I have already written them all out for book one and written some analysis on what needs changing, or what I want to change).

I did not work on TSP Wednesday night, but then had one of my cool moments in life on Thursday. I awoke at about 3am, and there were ideas swimming around, of thingys that are important that need to gain representation in the text (most of my writing is through metaphor, or it's put in because it directly relates to something important to me). But do I get up and put them to my laptop? No. I was too tired and it was too cold! So as often happens in my life, I roll my new ideas around in my head, because until I get it down in print I will be kinda obsessed with not losing them (that is not a great worry though; like today I had a new idea come in the morning at work, but then I forgot to email it to myself and forgot about it, but then on the drive back at lunchtime I remembered again, even though I wasn't thinking of the book). Not too long after 4am and Bella was at my door, so of course I let them in for awesome snuggles! Nearly three hours, and I still didn't want to get out of bed! But there is this thingy called work. So whilst having breakfast I finally put these ideas to print. Okay then, my brain can rest a little again. Feed dogs and it's shower time. I am thinking nothing, but then a terrific idea comes to me! Within a minute or two I am smirking greatly (which continued for most of that morning) as I realise that I have a new ending for book 2! Recently I considered that Grueland, the final chapter in book 1 just had to be transferred to be the conclusion to the entire series, but now I have an ending to book 2 that I feel is worthy (though it's just an idea, I haven't written it at all except for the last two sentences!) and apt. It also hit me that Grueland is perfect where it is, because when I wrote it I did not know exactly what was real in my world, and the piece is actually written as a dream sequence, so it makes a lot of sense to me now to leave it as the end of book 1. The ending for book 2 will still be special, and it ties in with the new piece that I am going to write for chapter seven of book one, which is The First Meeting.

Later I had this other idea for the conclusion, but then I realised that the character wouldn't work, so it has to be a different character, but then this other idea came to me which I like So I have had a lot of crazy periods of really being happy about these new ideas and stuff. I really am determined to turn the publishers mind around, and to be a part of their great new stable of writers. Because who knows of what else I will be capable of in the future?

What a !!!!

Oh, also when I was driving to work yesterday I suddenly had this hysterical laughter because I realised it was the 4th of April, and 4 is the most significant number in TSP. I imagine that it was like your laugh Lai with Pete kicking around the burnt hot cross buns

GR

P.S. Weggy is going to become even more 'cookie' now too; so a little more like me

[Laikipia]

GR - you see you are also mad as a hatter too!

I am enjoying reading it for sure and don't feel forced at all. It is now on my Tablet so will travel with me, plenty of time at the airport and on the flight etc so I will enjoy catching up.

You need a pen and paper by your bed so when you wake you make a quick note. I dont do this but keep being told I should

Keep going and glad to know the 7 page report is constructive and helpful.

Mrs Kipia et al

[gregrowlerson]

I'm as made as a cut snake (to use some weird Aussie vernacular)

By the way, there is no snake smiley. Yep, I was looking!

There is a brief scene in the book on a flight; you might enjoy how Breezyweezy makes it onboard!

The pen and paper is a good idea, although actually I can just text into my mobile. I used to do this a lot a few years ago with thoughts and stuff, but then stopped (perhaps my fingers got sore!). Mostly it is roll stuff around in my head, or email ideas to myself. I do this at work sometimes; in fact it's been very common in the last 15 months or so. Since starting TSP, I have emailed myself stuff for it.

I have about ten emails to catch up on from the past week or so, of just small notes of writing I have emailed snailishly whilst at work. So perhaps I will transfer those over to my proper ideas page/s tonight. It is taking a long time to get to the point of trying to write the second book, but the longer that takes the more ideas I am getting. And I will still be open to others coming to me whilst I am really in the swing of things.

Or thingys

I got a really weird idea the other night, and that was to force myself to wake up early and then regularly (so just short sleeping periods) with the view to being able to remember my dreams. It would be the 'pen and paper' type thing by my side, and then quickly writing whatever upon waking (because dreams can be weirdly interesting, but we don't remember them off a full sleep, only from an interrupted one because they happen relatively early in our sleeping patterns)! But no, I am not going to do this...at least now (and my dreams would have been more interesting in the past year then to start it now). But maybe if I was really lacking in writing ideas in the future and for inspiration then it would be something interesting to experiment, and perhaps even a story could be based around that? I don't know; it's rather crazy thinking indeedy!

But anyhoo, I do have another story idea perhaps for the future, and that is to tell a tale based around African animals. This idea I've had since May 2010, so it's a long time to be on the backburner! Perhaps when I finish TSP I will try it, but it will also depend on whether I succeed with this publisher, because that would help with future story writing motivation; Absolutely!

GR

[Laikipia]

'cut snake' I like that.

Keep all ideas going and then they will all come to fruition when you're ready. I think it's a good idea to finish TSP first though, although tempting to go off on another adventure with African animals

Lai

[gregrowlerson]

I had some small ideas (though one very good and significant one) for my 'leopard tale' today, but most definitely doing TSP first. I am very serious about that! Looking forward to this weekend already as I should get some good free time to get plenty done

[Laikipia]

Oooooooooooooooooooooh double Leopardy tale sounds brilliant S

Lai
aka E

[gregrowlerson]

'Metaphor Madness' might be more apt! Though I actually haven't decided on the title yet, but it will be leopard related

A leopard who can't climb very well...stumbling into Dumbo territory there

[Laikipia]

Mrs Kipia
et al

[gregrowlerson]

Very slow going on TSP completion front - possibly months away from getting anything proper together on book 2 and don't even know if I can write proper chapters yet - but still some nice ideas coming to me. Today was a big breakthrough or development. A period of zoning out, then some , then something hit me that it seems like could have hit me ages ago though at the same time it never could have, so it was one of those apifimy (that has got to be the worst spelling ever but not even gonna google it cause that looks funny; epithamy maybe, seems closer lol) moments. I wrote a couple of pages not just on the new ideas, but on how they came to me. So sort of some moments!

GR (we have the other cookie to represent sharp, so this one can just be plain cookie cookie!)

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