Time for some Jokes

Lai I surrender
WS

WS

Lai

These two lists gave me big and today.

and to WS and Lai

I had to get in quick with my defence for the girls GR - WS can be a sharp and needs watching

Lai

I have'nt put one on for a while. Defend this one Lai

A MAN AND HIS EVER-NAGGING WIFE WENT ON VACATION TO JERUSALEM .

WHILST THEY WERE THERE, THE WIFE PASSED AWAY.

THE UNDERTAKER TOLD THE HUSBAND,
"YOU CAN HAVE HER BURIED HERE IN THE HOLY LAND FOR £150
OR WE CAN HAVE HER SHIPPED BACK HOME FOR £5,000.
THE HUSBAND THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND TOLD THE
UNDERTAKER HE WOULD HAVE HER SHIPPED BACK HOME.
THE UNDERTAKER ASKED HIM,
"WHY WOULD YOU SPEND £5,000 TO HAVE HER SHIPPED
HOME WHEN YOU COULD HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BURIAL HERE,
AND IT WOULD ONLY COST £150????"

THE HUSBAND REPLIED, "LONG AGO, A MAN DIED HERE, HE WAS BURIED HERE,
AND THREE DAYS LATER, HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD.

I JUST CAN’T TAKE THAT CHANCE!"
Well you cant blame him really can you

WS  

  WS. Now that is a seriously good one. I am going to pass that round ..............

Lai  

Lightning can strike twice, so the hubby was right not to take any chances ;-)

You da man indeedy WS!!

I suppose in the interests of sexual equality I'd better balance it out
One for the Blondes

A lawyer boarded an airplane in Gladstone with a box of frozen crabs and
asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He
advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them
staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a
lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she
let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behaviour.

Shortly before landing in Brisbane, she used the intercom to announce
to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in
Gladstone, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up .... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.

WS  

  WS and   on behalf of us blondes  

Lai  

      to WS and Lai for the dog and cat jokes, they were brilliant especially your quick retort Lai  

WS, that Last one was a corker and deffo one for us blondes, we really are smart    

littlewid-x-

  Littlewid, I so agree  

Lai

I have been so far behind on this forum!

Ripping blonde/lawyer joke WS  As LW said, an absolute corker!

 

GR

P.S. I bet the lawyer will keep lobster instead from now on! That's karma for being such a cheapskate