Jokers Page

oooh thats bad TB!

SM

During the riots, I spotted a man hurrying down the High Street with a plasma tv under his arm. I did my civic duty and whacked him over the head with a shovel.





I have apologised to Argos, and said I hope their delivery driver recovers soon

Nice one TB

I hope it was'nt the same Argos Store an Irish friend of mine broke into.

He's got 5oo Argos Catalogues going cheap if anyone wants one
WS

TB and WS

Lai

What are you two like ......... WAA's new Double Act

littlewid-x-

I joined a new site on the Internet today. It said choose a password with 8 Characters in it

The only one I could think of was Snow White, and the Seven Dwarfs

WS

^$"&/@:>



SM

:Ha: :Ha: Nice one WS

littlewid-x-

WS -

Lai

I miss this thread. Where have all the forum Jokers disappeared to?

SM

My mate said, "I like your car."
I said, "It's not very practical now we've got a baby."
He said, "How about I buy it off you."
I said, "Yeah go on then. Three grand?"
He said, "You've got yourself a deal."
I said, "Nice one... you're going to make a brilliant dad."

Safari Maiden wrote:I miss this thread. Where have all the forum Jokers disappeared to?

SM

Trouble is most of my jokes are from my Rugby playing/watching mates and would probably get me banned from here

Poor baby!

SM

Very True TB, but you do have ones that wont get you banned too!

sm

but very :Ha: :Ha: :Ha: :Ha: keep 'em coming TB

littlewid-x-

We walked past a posh restuarant the other evening and Mandy said "that smells absolutely delicious"
So I thought she's not had a treat for a while,so I walked her past it so she could smell it again.

Wicked of you TB, you little , but also very

littlewid-x-

A Man after my own heart TB
WS

My wife and I have decided we don't want kids.








If anyone does we can drop them off tomorrow.

littlewid-x-

SM

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
__________
Now for the boys.........................
A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________
Back to the girls....................
Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.'
__________
Maybe for both...................
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

__________
All right back for the girls...............
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________
Revenge?......
First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________
It's starting to cut up rough now..................
'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'

A good mix of funnies there TB

littlewid-x-

Went for a meal with the missus last night,had Pelican curry......It was ok







but the bill was enormous !!!